Why Relationships Aren't Like the Movies

Sound advice. Talk openly and honestly, with respect and consideration.

Because money is a big factor in making movies, the problem with the "lazy stereotyping for the mass audience" is obviously a driving force -- but more than just providing popular fodder, I think there's something deeper at work too. It reminds me of many other conservatism-related subjects where someone relies on stereotypes for two things: 1) as a 'shortcut' to save time working out the details in every individual case, and 2) for a sense of comfort, familiarity and reassurance in a threatening world.

And that's where the problem is, as I see it -- the world isn't nearly as threatening as we're taught it is. Well, not here in mainstream England, anyway. (Or in other areas where such movies are made and paid for so ravenously.) The complexities and challenges of reality are really some of the most exciting, thrilling and fascinating facets of the human condition: not the most dangerous.

I have a couple of small children and one day shocked another parent by privately mentioning in passing that my son was crap at something. Well, he was. We are *all* crap at *something*, surely? No big deal. Or at least one might hope. There's been a phase of not allowing 'school sports day' lest it causes upset to those who don't win. But instead of trying to smooth over all the texture of human existence, why not teach and nurture our youngsters to revel in, to enjoy, to embrace and appreciate the differences between one another. And to know when to not care that someone else won.

My point is that we need to deal with managing/enabling a mature and sensible approach to difficulty rather teaching and indoctrinating instincts to find ways to 'avoid' any sort of difficulty altogether.

So, back to talking openly and honestly. Do! And when it is complicated and causes upset and every fibre of your body says 'my parent always told me not to offend', then take a moment, accept that these things happen in a grown up relationship, in both directions, and move on. Don't instead use it as reason to bury yet another 'taboo' subject on the grounds that everyone will hate us if we speak our mind once to often. (Or at all!)

Meanwhile, the vast majority of people who want to pay a few (hundreds of) pennies to switch off the brain, and have every stereotype gently massaged in a reassuring comfort-zone, will continue to drive the mainstream media, I suspect. Nonetheless, a little effort and attention will go a long way to supporting and developing the film industry that produces other types of films too.

Despite the loss of prominent film industry investment in the UK, I remain optimistic that we'll still see some gems continuing to make it to the big and little screens. And over time, perhaps we'll see a broader range of security, comfort, acceptance, an evaporation of fear-and-ignorance, and ultimately familiarity with the delightful & delicious variety of humanity across the planet. Especially if children continue to come out with some of the most ludicrously hilarious one-liners they have a habit of sharing when least expected!