Would we all enjoy the holidays a bit more if we simply got over the idea of a "perfect" Christmas?
It’s three sleeps until Christmas morning. For the young and those who still anticipate Santa Claus’s arrival every year, this is an incredibly exciting time. For those of us who are desperately trying to finish up work, Christmas shopping, and then trying to figure out how/if/when we’ll all be able to travel home for the big day, it's just a tad bit less fun.
While we all may put on a smile and talk about how much we love the holiday season, for a lot of us, Christmas usually means STRESS.
We stress about finding and affording the perfect gift. We stress about cooking, we stress about baking, we stress about travel and dealing with our family during Christmas dinner. (“Remember Auntie Judy hates gays and to not mention the war to Uncle Jeb!”)
But why do we stress?
My theory is that the majority of us are simply overly sentimental about the holidays. We cling to memories or ideas of what we want Christmas to be like, and we obsess over making it so.
We have such grand expectations about Christmas, and while I understand that being with family is Christmas to some, it would appear as if the world would come to a literal, violent end if they were to get home on the 26th, rather than the 24th of December.
Of course, it’s disappointing when our plans our ruined. Sure, nobody wants to have a crappy Christmas. But shit happens.
Maybe it’s because I’m a Grinch, or maybe it’s because I know many people who come from divorced families or who have unconventional ways of celebrating the holidays for one reason or another, but I think learning the art of flexibility and how to adapt is quite useful, especially at Christmas.
Christmas isn’t about timing or a specific date. It’s not about perfect presents, perfect turkey or even Jesus.
But you might think it was considering the way people go on stressing themselves out over cooking a turkey, worrying about if their sister-in-law will hate their gift, or getting uptight because Carol and the kids won't get there until five when everyone else wants to eat at 2! Everyone needs to take a breather.
I've thought about what exactly Christmas and the holidays are meant to be about...and to be honest I'm not really sure. Yes, there's giving and family and love...but those are just words which can mean very different things to different people. Some consider their friends more of a family than their blood relatives, and giving may look like feeding the homeless and giving to charity instead of stuffing their sibling's stockings with crap they don't really need.
Perhaps if everyone unclenched a bit when it comes to Christmas, we all might enjoy it a bit more. Personally, I think Christmas should be a balance of family obligation (which can be enjoyable, even if it is a *must*) and doing what makes you happy. To avoid family feuds and hurt feelings, it might be necessary to attempt to some extent the "great expectations" of Christmas, but my advice would be to make sure to spend time doing things you like over the next week or so - even if it involves staying in and watching a film on New Years Eve, rather than doing what's expected of you - partying, champagne, etc.
This Christmas, give yourself the gift of imperfection. Unclench and enjoy it all, rather than trying to make it impossibly perfect.
Cate Sevilla is an online journalist and the editor-in-chief of BitchBuzz.com. You can follow her on Twitter as @CupCate or read her personal blog over on CupCate.com.
"Tired Salesgirl, X-mas Eve" by Norman Rockwell, © estate of Norman Rockwell