Are you tired of it yet? Tired of it being the only thing your boyfriend talks about. Tired of all your favourite bars having been taken over by people shouting at a screen. The World Cup is clearly the Eurovision for guys. It can be pretty entertaining, but enough is enough. Thankfully you don't have to sit through it all. With some clever planning you might actually be able to ignore it altogether.
1. Get a random crafts hobby
Start knitting, crocheting or making tiny origami flowers. This is the time to take up that strange crafts hobby that you'd never felt like you had the time for. Most of the world is standing still for about four hours every day, focusing on 22 sweaty over-paid men trying to kick a ball into a net. So why not use that time to do something productive? It's not like anything else important is going to happen. It's kind of like a collective pause button for the world. If football isn't your thing, then at least you have a good excuse to take some time off and focus on that hat you've always wanted to knit. If football is your thing then you can even knit and watch the game at the same time!
2. Go shopping
Unfortunately England and the United States aren't playing anymore. But if they were, that would be the time to hit the high street. It's rare to see the streets of London as empty as during an England game. It makes you wonder if they shot those post-zombie-apocalypse scenes in 28 Days Later during a World Cup. If you want some calm and quiet at Topshop or Primark, then go during a football game.
3. Hook up with your friends
Go to the beach, have a picnic, treat yourself to a day-spa, go for a loooong brunch that doesn't end until the football is over. Why let the football fans have all the fun? Think about the collective pause button again and go for a picnic with strawberries and Cava or bake your own cupcakes and throw a tea party. Why not use every game to do something unexpected and fun? Treat yourself. Think of all the money your saving on not buying pint after pint and downing them too quickly because the bar you're in is reaching sauna-levels of heat.
4. Watch movies
Close the curtains and put on a movie or go to the cinema. Shut out all the roars coming from the pubs or bars or your neighbours. Take the plunge and go on that 9 hour Lord of the Rings binge that's always tempted you. Or try to get yourself addicted to a new TV show. There's plenty of them out there, True Blood, The Wire, Glee, How I Met Your Mother. Just stick them on and watch until you start seeing the characters in front of your eyes if you blink. This is as close to football as it gets. You're watching a screen and time just flies away. Don't expect the same emotional drama though, not many movies seem to live up to the highs and lows of a World Cup game. How often do you see guys crying in the cinema?
5. Don't fight it
Just go with the flow and accept that almost everyone is going to be talking or thinking about football until the World Cup is over. Get yourself a team, support them fanatically. Scream abuse at a TV screen. Drown your sorrows in cheap lager. Place a bet and see your money go to waste as some random small country wins over the favourites. It's not too bad. You'll feel more mad tribal pride than on a pow wow for Scientologists. Suddenly you belong somewhere and the hairy guy next to you in the bar is your new best friend. You've already spilled a few pints on each other as you jump up and down as your team scores. The football madness is just going to get worse over the next few weeks, so why fight it?
Image via beamadelica's Flickr