Gov. Mark Sanford and President Bill Clinton are just two of many politicians to be caught with their pants down. They both made headlines for their steamy affairs and naughty sex acts, but what happens when feelings come into the equation?
When Bill Clinton admitted to his affair, men understood: he strayed. It happens! Women watched as he apologized for his indiscretions and reaffirmed his love for his wife. Men sympathized with his lusty loins, and women accepted the apology. The same happened with Senator John Edwards when he apologized for his affair and potential love child.
But what about Sanford? He didn't follow the formula: apologize, admit you were wrong, and pledge your undying monogamous love to your partner. He is definitely not the first politician to admit to an affair, but one of the first to admit to something more: love.
Sanford admitted the to the affair, apologized for his infidelity, and he admitted his strong feelings of love - but they weren't for his wife. He admitted how much he really, truly loved the woman he developed an intense relationship with.
What's worse? The sexual indiscretions, or the admission of love?
It's an age old stereotype when it comes to heterosexual couples: women are more concerned with their partner's emotional fidelity, while men are more concerned with their partner's sexual fidelity. In 2008, the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy published an article that questioned this very stereotype.
The study found that the stereotype was, like many, based in truth. But not only did men believe sexual infidelity was worse, they believed that women have sex when they're in love. Women believed the exact opposite of men: they said that men don't have to be in love when they have sex.
The implications of this study are limited, however. The study only looked at undergraduate college students, whose perceptions of fidelity and love are perhaps different than those of the average married couple.
Something more important than proving a stereotype to be true came out of the study, though. It confirmed that infidelity really is a gray area, and what's cheating for someone else isn't necessarily cheating for you. That friend who went back to her husband after she caught him picking up women on MySpace? It may be cheating to you, but to her, it's something different.
What does this all mean when you think about Clinton and Edwards? It becomes clear that their apologies weren't meant for everyone: they were meant for the female voters worried about their emotional fidelity. Sanford's admission of love was definitely not par for the course.