It’s that time of year again. When we’re all convinced to buy over-priced perfume, copious amounts of toblerone and jumpers with novelty animals on the front. Yes, it’s Christmas.
Well, almost...which means it’s time to indulge in some retail therapy and vegging out in front of Love Actually for the fifth year in a row. But beyond the confectionary and polyester sweaters is the pure stress of buying the gifts for love ones.
If your anything like me - a unbridled list-maker - you will have been formulating your list (and checking it twice, obviously) since August. So, please understand my pure sanctuary in the humble gift guide and power of online shopping. Unpredictable weather and over-enthusiastic department stores ensure I take a self-imposed shopping hibernation come November. Only a sadist would venture onto Oxford Street, right?
But back on topic with gift ideas and specifically those to avoid this Christmas. From your BFF to your gran, trust me no-one wants one of these in their stocking come 25th December. It is easy to fall into the trap of the ‘bad present’ so be sure to send this round to your loved ones for an advanced warning on what to steer clear of – it will only end in tears.
The Gift Voucher: This includes both shopping and ‘experience’ days. It shows a slack lack of imagination and can sometimes cause offence. Taking your sister’s occasional moan about work as an excuse to book her in for spa day may cause more tension over the sprouts than needed. It works the other way around too, if your boy gets you two tickets to the Wembley Stadium tour, chances are that ones for him not you.
Novelty Treats: From comedy aprons to bejewelled washing gloves, your Uncle may find it hilarious but it’s as good as sending us girls back to the dark ages. Take note, comedy kitchen ware or better yet anything novelty related will not be appreciated. A George Foreman Grill on the other hand...
Homemade...anything: Chutneys, jam, biscuits or truffles. Simply put, there’s nothing wrong with a trip to M&S to ease our hunger pangs. And whilst we’re happy to stuff our faces with Quality Street at 9am, we don’t really want to put your 3-year-old’s homemade jam on our toast...sorry.
Candy Underwear: Take note boys and girls there is nothing festive about sugared underwear on elastic. In fact underwear in general at Christmas should be approached with caution - anything festively themed will not go down well. Be sure to get the sizing right (if you don’t know, don’t bother) and make sure it’s from a nice retailer (Agent Provocateur, yes please). And as an extra tip don’t choose this occasion to reveal any strange persuasions.
With those four handy hints under your belt there should be no disappointed faces around the tree this year. Call me Santa’s Little Helper...
Stacey Malvern is a BitchBuzz Style columnist and Editorial Assistant at ASOS.com. With an insiders guide to working in fashion and all the shopping tips you'll ever need, you can follow her on Twitter @ASOS_Stacey.