Why does society still deem a relationship between an older woman and a younger man to be news- or gossip-worthy? It appears that ageism is still rather taboo for some.
When kids first start to show an interest in the opposite sex, girls usually go for older boys because boys their own age are considered to be far too immature. Once we've all passed puberty and have left full-time education - where everything revolves around spending time with a group of people largely the same age as you - this age guideline seems a little pointless. Dating people who you are attracted to, regardless of age, would seem the adult thing to do.
That's not usually what happens though. Are we socially conditioned to think that we should be in a relationship with someone of the same age, and that any deviations from this should involve the man being slightly older? Many people were brought up to believe that a man should provide for his family, so an older man with an established career is more likely to be able to do this. Who cares about mutual attraction and love, eh?
A woman who is older that her partner - or who appears to be - can be labelled a cougar and it is often remarked that there is a growing trend for older women to date younger men. However, it would seem that the reason many people are still shocked and surprised by this behaviour is that it's actually still relatively rare. As Wikipedia mentions on the subject of age disparity in sexual relationships:
In August 2010, Dr. Michael Dunn of the University of Wales Institute, Cardiff completed and released the results of a study on age disparity in dating. Dr. Dunn concluded that "Not once across all ages and countries...did females show a preference for males significantly younger than male preferences for females" and that there was a "consistent cross-cultural preference by women for at least same-age or significantly older men."
So, those who do are few, but heaven forbid that the woman looks older than her years too. At school, my best friend's father was in his 40s, while her mother was in her 50s and looked over 60 years old. They were a very happy couple and so, once the initial surprise of finding out that the woman I thought was my friend's grandmother was actually her mother had worn off, I just ignored it. Why ask questions? It was none of my business. But other people did, and they found it shocking.
There are certain things that older women shouldn't be allowed to do, according to some, and one of those is to take all the younger men away from their more youthful female counterparts. Come on ladies, why don't you conform?! Perhaps the main reason some people see this as shocking is that seeing a couple with a significant age gap reminds them that the older person is probably still having sex. Lots of sex. It's ageism rearing its ugly head, quite frankly.
Sadly it's not really just ageism though, is it? There is far less muttering in the media when an older male celebrity hooks up with a young woman than there is the other way round. Whichever way the ages fall, any bitching is usually always directed at the woman. If her partner is much older, than she must be a gold digger but, if her partner is much younger, then she is surely a sexual predator - both of which are clearly very bad and wrong. Apparently.
Ignore the rules, heterosexual women of the world! They were clearly made up by someone who doesn't read BitchBuzz, and we all know how wrong that is.
Lori Smith is looking forward to getting older and doing all the things she's apparently not allowed to do "at her age". Currently, you can find her blogging at Rarely Wears Lipstick or tweeting far too much as @lipsticklori.
Image via ABC's Cougar Town