I must warn you right now, I have been watching a lot of apocalypse films at the moment. Films where zombies take over the world. Films about vampire revolutions. Films where the world ends through natural climate changes. Films where alien life threatens our existence. Great films, granted, but they have had an embarrassing and unfortunately side effect – they have turned me into an unwitting survivalist.
Without meaning too, I now plan for the potential situation, whatever the cause, in which we are trapped indoors or where it is dangerous to go out, and where eventually we have to survive without the convenience of electricity, running water, supermarkets just around the corner. I am telling you this partly to entertain you, and partly to let it out before I turn into a cave-dwelling hermit surrounded by tins of spam and bottled water. It is a necessity!
So, purely in the sprit of self expression and sharing, how do you survive nasty situations like these?
Food
Firstly, have food in stock. This probably is good everyday advice too – have a little stock of food and dried goods for if you are snowed in, or flooded in, or otherwise unable to leave and shop. Whilst an industrial sized basement packed with rice and beans may well make sense in the face of impending doom, I am not sure I can advocate that in the real world. Alternatively, at the first sign of disaster head to the shops and stock up then!
What food to choose? Spam is great because it is filling and never ever goes out of date. Tins are brilliant – tuna, sardines, meat and fish. Beans and tins of tomatoes are great, as is anything that has high water content for if water is undrinkable or unavailable! Oh, and just for the hell of it, Pringles seem to last forever, so throw a couple of them in the trolley too! Oh, and fill any vessels (bath, sink, mug...) with water, because when it switches off you want to have as much in stock as possible!
Protection
You need to stay safe. You need to arm yourself, which, granted, is far easier to do in America! In the UK, it isn’t quite so simple. It is also bloody creepy to think about! Instead, why not head somewhere safe – like a castle – and use the natural defences. Otherwise, board windows if possible – which is where that large stack of wood you have hanging around comes in handy. Oh, wait, normal people tend not to have wood piles for potential barricading! Oops!
Teamwork
The final lesson is simple. Teamwork (and old-school radios...) good, fighting bad. Cooperation is needed to remain human in all senses, and if you get pissed and quarrel then it may be the beginning of a long downhill spiral. Go hippy, but with a side helping of tough!
So there you have it – the worryingly advanced thoughts of someone who probably ought to watch a few more romcoms and perhaps up her reading intake of Jilly Cooper. Its a simple solution... but then what would I do when the zombies come?!
Image via JoeLogon's Flickr