How to Avoid Arguments at Christmas

By Lori Smith

It's the most wonderful time of the year! There'll be much mistltoeing and hearts will be glowing, when loved ones are near... well, if you're Andy Williams, at least! For the rest of us, Christmas can often be a time for arguments with loved ones as we are all thrown together in the name of celebration. Whether we like it or not.

Alcohol is often the fuel to many a fiery argument. Relate counsellor Christine Northan told Drinkaware.co.uk that, "Drinking lowers your defences and changes your mood. You might be talking about politics with a family member but start getting angry because you’re cross with them about something else that has happened."

It's always worth keeping an eye on how much you've been drinking, but at Christmas it could help keep the peace as well as prevent a hangover! But, whether or not booze features heavily in your festive celebrations, arguments can often spoil an otherwise wonderfully relaxing day. So, how do we go about avoiding them?

Don't bottle it up

If someone's irritating you, don't keep it all in to the point where you explode in a fit of rage, saying "you're always like this at Christmas!" It might be the case that your loved one had no idea that thing they do annoys you so much. If you flag it in a nice way early on, before the stresses of the day really start to hit, you might be able to avoid the argument you thought was inevitable.

Try to calm things down

If an argument does start, try to diffuse the situation. Listen to what the other person has to say and reply calmly - don't shout. Choose your words carefully too. Saying things like "you never let me watch what I want to on Christmas Day" just sounds accusatory, and will probably mean that you still won't get to watch Doctor Who. Keep things friendly and a compromise could probably be reached.

Change the subject

Is the argument about something irrelevant? Is it just happening because someone had a bit too much booze and started rambling? Perhaps now's the time to start chirping about your favourite gift, or sharing that truly awful cracker joke? Smile sweetly and offer another mince pie. If questioned, try being honest. There's no harm in saying that you'd rather talk about something else.

Give yourself space

If all else fails, why not escape for a bit? Say you're just going out for a quick stroll to help dinner go down, or that you're popping upstairs to lie down for a bit to help get rid of a headache. Once you're relaxed, it should be easier to shrug off the more annoying parts of Christmas Day.

Lori Smith is the BitchBuzz Sex & Relationships columnist and this year will be spending Doctor Who Day with two incredibly lovely people and an awful lot of very tasty food. There will probably be lots of tweeting, but festive arguments are not on the menu.

POSTED IN: LIFE
Fri, 23 Dec 2011 11:38 (GMT+00)
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