By K. A. Laity
The other night I joined my intrepid editor for the launch of Starbucks's new Discoveries drinks, who partnered with Mills & Boon for the evening.
The publishing giant apparently conducted a study that demonstrated that most women found it difficult to carve out time for themselves on a daily basis. I'm sure this comes as a surprise to few of us over-achieving, workaholic, multi-taskers.
The importance of this for women cannot be overstated. Just look at the statistics about how heart attacks are climbing for women due to stress. I know all the excuses, but I don't want to hear that you are indispensable, can't stop now, there are just too many things to be done. Women don't just hold up half the sky, we hold up at least half the stress in the world, too.
The world can do without you for five minutes. Honestly. It can probably do without you for longer. If you find it hard to take time out, here are some suggestions:
1) Read. No, not an improving book! It doesn't count as fun if you are reading a tome on time management or how to relax more—no, not your book club book either. Just do it. Yes, drag out that Mills & Boon or the most garish horror title you can find to make it plain that you are having a moment for yourself. Ignore anyone who tries to speak to you.
2) Drink a nice cup of tea. Not a coffee, not in a paper cup, not sucked back as you bolt down the street. No, a proper cup, prepared with attention, or at least idle humming while the kettle heats. Choose your tea; don't just grab your daily bag. Let it steep. Watch the color fill the bowl. Drink it slowly while thinking about where that tea has come from and the journey it's made, just to arrive in your cup. Be grateful.
3) Write a letter to a friend. Not an email, an actual letter. Use a nice pen. Find some nice paper. Remind your friend why they are your friend. Post it today. Dawdle on the way to the Post Office. Think about your friend's smile when they read the letter.
4) Listen to some music. Sit down while you play it. Use earbuds if you must, but preferably don't. It can be a soothing classical piece or some sentimental favourite from when you were much younger (and freer and far less stressed); the important thing is to do nothing else while you listen to it.
5) Walk. Not with purpose or direction, but ambling. Don't listen to music. If you must have accompaniment, try whistling. If you can't whistle, try to remember lyrics to songs you loved as a teenager. Repeat them out loud and look into the faces of passersby with a smile, even if you are saying, "I eat cannibals" to them. Laugh as you walk along.
I'd suggest scheduling these kinds of time outs regularly, but if they become too regimented, the purpose will be lost. Consider something more Pavlovian: when you hear the word "stress" in your thoughts, a bell should go off, telling you that instead of rushing to do more, you should be doing less. Listen to that bell. Stop.
Image via The Invisible Gym