Back Off My Belly! How To Keep Your Bump Hands Free

By Alexandra Roumbas Goldstein

I didn’t think I’d have to deal with this only four and a half months into my pregnancy. After all, at least two shop assistants (we’re on the stroller round) have told me I “don’t look pregnant yet” and even my mother kindly pointed out there was probably “more tummy than baby”. But it turns out babies come with built in hand magnets.

I expected this when I got a more impressive bump, because there is something inherently tempting about the smooth dome of a pregnant tum. Especially as there’s a chance of feeling a bouncy kick. As my husband commented just this morning “there’s something growing in there and that’s cool, and kind of creepy”. As it turns out ,the mere knowledge that there’s something brewing in your belly draws people’s hands to your midriff like ants swarm over spilled sugar.

Luckily, so far it’s been family and some of them have even asked nicely. Still, that hasn’t stopped me compiling a steady list of rebuttals for the inevitable outstretched palms that I probably won’t be brave enough to use but will have for that esprit de l’escalier moment after the inevitable stomach fondling.

Here are my favourites so far, but please feel free to add your own in the comments:

“Have you seen Alien? You might not want to leave your hands there.”

“Boots does excellent hand warmers, you know.”

…*fakes orgasm*…

“Ah, the laying on of hands. The priest already tried an exorcism, but I think we’re stuck with little Damien now.”

“Oh my God… it just stopped kicking… what have you done?!”

(Putting hands on their stomach in response) “Weird. Why is yours all squishy?”

“Don’t touch that! The fuse is a bit… oversensitive…” (Complete with thousand yard stare).


Image via Danny McL's Flickr

POSTED IN: LIFE
Wed, 10 Mar 2010 13:00 (GMT+00)
11 Responses
1.

"Are we married now?"

K. A. Laity
Wed, 10-Mar-2010 13:36 GMT
2.

D'you think a look of sheer horror, combined with the words "what is *wrong* with you?" would help? Talk about invading personal space. Jeez!

Lori Smith
Wed, 10-Mar-2010 15:35 GMT
3.

Hehehe, like it Ms Laity!

Yep, Lori, there's nothing like a baby for attracting unwanted advice and invasion of personal space. Perhaps it's nature's way of getting you used to something hanging off you like a baby orangutan, but I seriously hope not.

Alex
Wed, 10-Mar-2010 15:43 GMT
4.

I've always wondered about this and found it particularly horrific. I don't understand what makes a pregnant woman stop being just a normal woman and instead becoming a baby-container, who clearly is only of interest because of her impending childcoming. "Oh you're pregnant! Let's only talk about that from now on!" Similarly I find it a bit depressing that anyone will quit talking to the woman and only talk into the pram postbaby arrival.

I'd go with a swift sidestep if possible, a quick 'er, what are you doing?' and if all else fails, the reciprocal touching option. Maybe try their face for maximum exposure.

Jess

p.s. congrats, had no idea about the impending baby situation. Also, hilariously realised that for all my bitchin', I'm an awful example of the girl who'll talk to the dog rather than the owner. Double standards ;)

Jess
Wed, 10-Mar-2010 16:42 GMT
5.

Congratulations! And tell em to keep their filthy paws off your belly. It's just rude!

Leah
Wed, 10-Mar-2010 19:05 GMT
6.

Thank you very much! I admit I do talk to cats instead of their owners, but feel justified in this as our vet talks to our cats and not us... if a PROFESSIONAL does it... ;)

It's true, you do become something of a brood mare, but luckily I have lots of lovely friends and colleagues who provide an excellent balance of conversation!

Alex
Thu, 11-Mar-2010 11:04 GMT
7.

I love your responses Alexa - must keep them in mind. Seriously why do people do that? I have pregnant friends and I would never just go up to them and put my hands on their stomach - unless they asked me to. It;s such an invasion of personal space!

spiralsandturns
Thu, 11-Mar-2010 11:53 GMT
8.

If they didn't ask:
Friends: Hand to her/his throat: "Disconcerting, isn't it?"
Aquaintances: Grabbing their hand and not letting go: "Do you think that's polite?"
I guess, I will take a few lessons in anger managment before getting pregnant. :-)
I will definitely keep that alien-line in mind, though. Simply great!

Neeva
Thu, 11-Mar-2010 21:08 GMT
9.

(Putting hands on their stomach in response) “Weird. Why is yours all squishy?”

Brilliant one.

Claire
Fri, 12-Mar-2010 15:16 GMT
10.

It's always freaked me out that people would do that. I myself have never felt that overwhelming desire.

Try the quick "Oh, you don't even want to know what happened to the last poor mortal who did that."

Faith
Fri, 12-Mar-2010 15:52 GMT
11.

First, congrats.

Then, the invasion of personal space is one of the reasons I hated being preggers. Becoming public property when you hate 99% of the population is not good.
Add to this the fact everyone has something to say, some ridiculous words of wisdom about parenting, and you get a very angry pregnant lady.

Mademoiselle Robot
Sun, 14-Mar-2010 23:01 GMT

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