BitchBuzz takes some love advice from Glamour, one of the top women’s magazines, and exposes the truth. Will these relationship rituals really spice up your sex life in the real world? Colette, a dating and relationship expert gets to the bottom of the issue and reveals why these twelve steps probably won’t bring you any closer to a hotter sex life with your man.
- Showering together on a workday. (He can wash your hair just as quickly as you can.)
This is probably the least sexy time to take a shower together. My mornings consist of waking up late, looking at the clock and saying: “Fuck!”- jumping in the shower, quickly shaving and missing several areas of my leg, running out of the shower dripping wet, and looking for a clean towel that doesn’t have cat hair all over it.
- Saving the last day of vacation to be at home together, without telling anyone you're back.
Eh, the last thing I’m ever in the mood for after a long vacation is sex. I want time to catch up on all the shows I taped on my DVR!
- Dirty texting in the middle of a 3 P.M. meeting.
Aka a good way to get fired. Yeah, you’ll look really professional “texting” in the middle of your boss’ presentation. Great career move! Why not just have phone sex right in the middle of the conference call!
- A new rule: Never keep a compliment to yourself; say it!
I’ll start throwing out the compliments once I start hearing some!
- One dessert, two spoons and the lady gets the last bite.
Hands off! I get my own dessert. I didn’t get this body by sharing.
- Meeting sweet at the airport after one of you has been away.
Airports are the least romantic places out there. The last time I picked up my beloved from the airport, I was so frustrated by the no-stopping rule that I was screaming obscenities when he opened the car door.
- Sitting in the last row of the movie theater.
“Hey, I can’t see anything back here!”
- Sleeping-naked Sundays.
Why, so your guy can leave skid marks on your white sheets? I don’t think so.
- Clean-sheets Wednesdays.
Much sexier than period-sheets Tuesdays.
- Holding his knee and singing old songs on long car trips.
Great idea, if your goal is to find yourself stranded on the side of a road in the middle of nowhere as your boyfriend peels off into the horizon.
- Leaving your prettiest, laciest hand-washables out to dry.
There’s nothing that turns a man on more than seeing your laundry hanging in the bathroom while he’s taking a shit. News flash: Guys could care less about your unmentionables unless you’re actually wearing them.
- Always saying good night, whether it's with total entwinement or just "night, dude."
What adult woman is calling their guy “dude”?? Did I not get the memo?